Being jointly aware about how relationships develop gives you a chance at committed love, and you can both relax and explore along the way.
It takes time to get to the point of commitment. Too many leap into commitment too premature. It causes heartbreak and disappointment.
Have you done that? Like a fairy tale with a first date and then living happily every after? It’s a fairy tale! The actual world is that love takes time. Take each of the 3 phases to get there.
Stage One – First Dates
Is there any chemistry? Everything’s very preliminary.
It’s not time yet to be considering a possible future together, simply checking out the other, and seeing if you’re interested enough for future dates.
Link chemistry’s physical, psychological, and spiritual. The physical is often obvious… do you find the person physically attractive? Would you like the eyes, mouth, body type? What about the voice and laugh, even the accent?
How does the person smell to you? What about taste?
If somebody tastes or smells of smoke, is a game-changer for you? Some things won’t ever change. Some things can or will change over time, but right now you’re in the stage of first impressions through the five senses.
There is also the emotional and spiritual connection that’s part of early chemistry discovery. How’s the conversation? What do you care about? Do you share similar interests and life views?
Stage Two is the Honeymoon
The Honeymoon’s special. It’s something many couples work to maintain aspects of afterwards in their relationships.
You see one another regularly. You have a lot of fun and excitement together as you get to actually know one another.
The honeymoon can last for a month or two, or up to a year. It ends as you get to recognize the humanity of your spouse. Your partner has defects, and you begin to see them. And they yours.
For many, the honeymoon is all they need. They’ve a kind of addiction to the thrill of their honeymoon.
They break up and move on as the honeymoon period evolves to its close. I call these folks 90-Day Wonders.
They’re terrific for a honeymoon, but lack the emotional stability and maturity to pursue a long-term relationship.
Relationship Commitment is Stage Three
When the honeymoon with the rose-colored glasses is ending, and you see one another’s lack of devotion, you may attempt to change one another.
You may struggle over who’s and who’s wrong in situations, beliefs, and attitudes. This can become a power struggle.
If you can get to the point where you accept one another as you are, rather than try to change perceived imperfections, many relationships become more powerful and endure.
Otherwise, breakup can happen, or, often worse, staying together and being miserable.
If the decision’s to accept your partner, and vice-versa, the relationship can continue and develop in a wholesome way. You have given one another a chance at finding love.
Are you interested in living your life intentionally to create the life you want to contribute? Research shows that using creative mindfulness is the way to Design the Life You Want.
A big part of the life we need is a Love Relationship. Are you sick and tired of failing to get what you want?